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Frequently Asked Questions, and their answers, for alt.depressed.as.fuck

Welcome, I guess, to alt.depressed.as.fuck where your sympathy, your cures and your support are unwanted. Try the various *.support.* groups, alt.cuddle and alt.backrub for warmth and fuzziness.

 

Q1: What is the purpose of alt.depressed.as.fuck?

A1: To vent about depression without forking over $150 an hour.

 

Q2: How do you know when you're depressed.as.fuck?

A2: If it can't get any better, but can get much, much worse you're not just depressed, you're depressed.as.fuck. If the first thing you would do if you ever managed to get out of bed was to attempt suicide, you're depressed.as.fuck. If booze is your best friend, especially the delicious hangovers that blot out the feelings of depression for at least a day, you're depressed.as.fuck. Basically, if you have the energy to ask if you are depressed.as.fuck then you probably are not depressed.as.fuck

 

Q3: Should I ask my friends for help with my depression?

A3: Only if their names are Jim Beam, Jack Daniels, Jose Cuervo, Remy Martin or Mr. Glen Livet. Otherwise they will be faithless leeches.

 

Q4: Should I listen to the voices in my head?

A4: That depends on what they tell you to do. If they suggest colorful means of multicide that would provide some form of schadenfreude infotainment for others who are depressed.as.fuck, then by all means listen to them. If, OTOH, they tell you to find God, ignore them. However, there is probably not much point anyway, except to lay down and wait to die.

 

Q5: Is suicide truly painless?

A5: No one has complained yet.

 

Q6: Is there a group motto?

A6: Yes. "Be strong in death" and "Leave me the FUCK alone!!!"

 

Q7: What activities are suggested for someone who is depressed.as.fuck?

A7: Listening to Joy Division, the Swans and/or Tool, trying to sleep, drinking heavily, chain smoking, mutilating yourself or paying someone to do it for you, alienating your alleged friends, cleaning your gun(s), watching the news, completing your will. For synergetic effect, try several of these activities in one day. (E.g. carving Joy Division or Tool lyrics into your thigh after slamming down the last shot of booze.)

 

Q8: Is life worth living?

A8: No.

 

Q9: How often should I read a.d.a.f?

A9: Once. All the articles are the same. Life sucks. People are horrid. Death is better.

 

Q10: How often should I post to a.d.a.f?

A10: Every day you are depressed as fuck.

 

 

Note, since this was written in 1996, alt.depressed.as.fuck has been taken over by people who actually offer support to each other.  Sometimes.  Life is like that.

Oh, and the person who helped me put together this FAQ has since killed himself.  In a very messy way.

 

 

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Created December, 1996

Last updated Wednesday, November 14, 2007

 

Copyright © 1996, 2004 Jerod Poore. All rights reserved.

 

Copyright © 2003, 2004, 2005 Jerod Poore. All rights reserved.  This is my life and I'm copyrighting it.  I'm taking Harry Shearer's advice.  If I catch any companies like ChoicePoint selling information about it, it's going to be an intellectual property issue now.

 

Almost all of the material on this site is copyright © 2003, 2004, 2005 Jerod Poore. Except, of course, the PI sheets, those are the property of the drug companies who developed the drugs the sheets are about.  And any documents that are written by other people which may be posted to this site will remain the property of the original authors.  You cannot reproduce this page or any other material on this site outside of the boundaries of fair use copying without the express permission of the copyright holder.  That's usually me, so just ask first.  That means if want to print out a few pages to take to your doctor, therapist, counselor, support group, non-understanding family members or something like that - then that's OK to just do.  Go for it!  Please.  As long as you include this copyright notice and the following disclaimer, I'm cool with it.

All rights reserved. No warranty is expressed or implied in this information. Consult one or more doctors and pharmacists before taking, or changing how you take any neurological and/or psychiatric medication. Your mileage may vary. What happened to us won't necessarily happen to you. Nobody on this site is a doctor, therapist, or a pharmacist. We don't portray them either here or on TV. Only doctors can diagnose and treat an illness. Some doctors tend to get pissed off by patients who know too much about medications, so tread lightly when and where appropriate. Diagnosing yourself from a website is like defending yourself in court, you suddenly have a fool for a doctor. Don't be a cyberchondriac, thinking you have every disease you see a website about, or that you'll get every side effect from every medication. Self-prescribing is just as dangerous.  All information on this site has been obtained through personal experience, the experiences of my friends, the experiences of people reported on online support groups, and from sources that are referenced throughout the site.  Know your sources!  As such the information presented here is not a substitute for real medical advice from your real doctor, just a compliment to it.  No neurologists, psychiatrists, therapists or pharmacists were harmed in the production of this website. All brand names of the drugs listed in this site are the trademarks of the companies listed after them in the pages about the drugs, even though those companies may or may not have been acquired by other companies who may or may not be listed in this site by the time you read this. Always read the PI sheet that comes with your medications and never ever throw them away.  If you didn't get a PI sheet, demand one.  Loudly.  Crazy Meds is not responsible for the content of sites we provide links to.  We like them, or they're paid advertisements, or they're something you should read to make an informed decision about a particular med.  Sometimes they're more than one of those things.  But what's on those sites is their business, not ours.  Very little information about visitors to this site is collected or saved. And from time to time I do look at search terms used to find it in an effort to make the information I present more relevant. Use only as directed. Void where prohibited.

 

"Everything is true, nothing is permitted." - Jerod Poore