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Loss Of Sense Of Self, No Concept Of Identity


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7 replies to this topic

#1 Stargazer

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 02:13 PM

I have been on Wellbutrin for a little over three weeks. The first two weeks at 100mg, I felt absolutely nothing. The past week at 200mg I have developed something that I have a hard time describing. I feel like I have lost my identity. The person I am right now is not the person I used to be or even the depressed version of it. I feel completely disconnected from myself, like I don't know who I am. I feel lost in my own mind. My emotions are all over the place... I can go from relatively happy to sad to angry back to crying in a very short period of time. I feel like I have absolutely no control over my feelings or how I react to any situation. The most confusing part is feeling like a completely different person that I don't want to be. This has gotten progressively worse over the past week.

I am going to discuss this with my pdoc next week. I couldn't reach her today. I was really hoping that I would have the positive effects so many have had with this drug. I am so med sensitive that there aren't a lot of options that I haven't already tried. I don't want to give up but I can't continue unless I know this is transient.

If it is helpful, I am on Mylar generic, 100mg in the morning and 100mg in the evening.

I really hope this makes sense to someone. It's so hard to explain. Any thoughts or similar experiences?


Edit: I just wanted to ask if there are any meds that may counteract this feeling of disconnection.

Edited by Stargazer, 16 November 2012 - 05:56 PM.

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#2 Revan

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 07:06 PM

I have been on a few meds in the past that felt like it made me a different person (for better OR worse). The wellbutrin I am on I felt this slightly at the beginning. I became not very talkative and a bit spaced out...like I wanted to just sit and watch movies all day. If it makes any sense I started to care less about MYSELF and the external world a little more. Except the external world/human interaction that I was used to seemed much more phony. ...My guess is just these were just chemical reactions to my body adjusting to the med/s , but I can totally relate to the feeling of "is it really my negative thoughts and perceptions, or is the world just that irreversibly screwed up?"...

On another note. (Like I said previously) I have had these kind of reactions to several meds. The thing that actually got me feeling normal was simply the addition of an add on med. For instance when I was on lexapro I felt it was very emotionally numbing, depressing and not very helpful, ... until Lamictal was added then I started to feel MUCH,MUCH better within a few days.

Also... sometimes simply a dosage tweak was the answer...

good luck

Edited by Revan, 16 November 2012 - 07:09 PM.

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#3 Demento

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 07:22 PM

From my experience, this is transient. Starting Wellbutrin can be a rocky road for the first month or so. I also had the labile emotional states. This went away almost exactly one month after I had been on 300 mg.
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#4 whatnow310

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 11:14 PM

Stargazer---Wellbutrin can take several weeks to work, but I can certainly understand your concerns and feeling "disconnected." There are many factors, including it being generic, which brand (you said Mylan, which is fairly common), is it SR or XL, and varying doses for different people. I have had about a 3 month trial of it along with 80mg prozac, and found it to be very sedating. Most other people and my pdoc report it being a little more elevating and helping with motivation. So we all can have different responses for sure. I agree with above that it is likely transient and dose adjustments will help. I would still explain my concerns to my pdoc, and explore if you need a quicker or slower titration to optimal dose. Some people are more sensitive and need more time to adjust. Good luck!
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#5 Stargazer

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Posted 17 November 2012 - 12:46 PM

Thank you all for your responses. It helps knowing this isn't abnormal and I am not losing my mind. It seems to be the worst during the middle of the day which I imagine is when my morning dose is peaking. I believe I will be switching to XR at my next visit if my pdoc thinks this will resolve with time or a dosage increase. I also think the generic may have something to do with how I feel based on all of the negative information I have read. I will discuss this with her as well.

I really don't want to give up just yet. The disconnected, "who the hell am I" feeling is uncomfortable and lends itself to a bit of paranoia as well. Because I feel a little off, I feel it is immediately obviously to others that I am not quite right.

I really do appreciate all of your responses. I do feel much better today without the anxiety that I truly am going off the deep end. :smiley:
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#6 Revan

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Posted 19 November 2012 - 10:36 AM

:)

PS:For me the brand wellbutrin 75mg is almost like a different med than the generic version (the one with the M in the middle). None of that icky nausea I got with the generic.
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#7 Stargazer

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Posted 19 November 2012 - 01:10 PM

Hi Revan,

That is very interesting. I stopped by the pharmacy yesterday to see if they carried any different generics and also to see if my insurance would cover brand. My brand copay is obscene... nothing I could possible afford on a regular basis. No generics other than the M.

The pharmacist also felt the IR was probably too much at once for my small size. He thought that XR would be a far better option. Not sure why my pdoc wanted to do the titration with the IR once I got past 100mg. Any thoughts on this? She's a great doc so I never questioned it and honestly didn't have much knowledge of the difference between IR, SR and XR until I started spending time here and doing a little further research.

I am really looking forward to a dose increase and to switching to XR. Hopefully I will feel a little more like myself... only better. :smiley:

Edited: Typos galore... this is my brain on Lamictal and Topamax

Edited by Stargazer, 19 November 2012 - 01:18 PM.

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#8 Revan

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Posted 26 November 2012 - 09:52 PM

Hi Revan,

That is very interesting. I stopped by the pharmacy yesterday to see if they carried any different generics and also to see if my insurance would cover brand. My brand copay is obscene... nothing I could possible afford on a regular basis. No generics other than the M.

The pharmacist also felt the IR was probably too much at once for my small size. He thought that XR would be a far better option. Not sure why my pdoc wanted to do the titration with the IR once I got past 100mg. Any thoughts on this? She's a great doc so I never questioned it and honestly didn't have much knowledge of the difference between IR, SR and XR until I started spending time here and doing a little further research.

I am really looking forward to a dose increase and to switching to XR. Hopefully I will feel a little more like myself... only better. :smiley:

Edited: Typos galore... this is my brain on Lamictal and Topamax


Sorry for the very late reply, I really wanted to reply to this but was on vacation for the holidays without a computer.

I could totally see the logic of going from IR to XL. My pdoc and I are thinking of switching me from 75mg IR to the 100mg SR (sustained release). The effect is supposed to be less of a jolt when I take it and more of a sustained energy thought the day. The XL is a slower release even than the SR. Perhaps the pdoc is just trying to get a feel of what works best for you.

I got lucky with my insurance company. They have a 50 dollar copay for everything brand. And no matter the drug and/or quantity it's always 50 dollars. For instance it would be 50 dollars for my brand risperdal at 0.5mg once a day (30 tablets), THE SAME PRICE ($50 dollars) if it were prescribed 0.5mg 4 times a day (120 tablets)... or even a higher dose would be the same amount, for instance 2mg risperdal tabs 4 times a day would still be 50 dollars. It's funny , I have been denied certain generic meds by them, but NEVER a brand med. I think they actually prefer me get brand meds.

Did the doctor switch you to XL? If so how are you doing on it? Any difference...better? worse?
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