Posted 10 July 2010 - 06:59 PM
My fiancee suggested that I post this here as you may be able to answer better than where I was going to go. I'm sorry if this is in the wrong forum, please feel free to move it if so.
I guess I will start off with little known past details.
I've always had an interest in not stepping in cracks. When walking down the street, I would envision imaginary lines going diagonally through concrete blocks and walk as though I couldn't walk in them. I always thought it was just my mind entertaining itself with games, setting up little rules. I like to know how many steps are in a staircase so that I can end my ascent or descent on my left foot. In shopping malls, I feel the need to step only diagonally between tiles, or skipping one tile, since it connects diagonally to the adjacent diagonal tile. This was all before I knew anything about OCD.
Now, I've been freaking out a little more, and my fiancee who's had a lot of prior experience fighting severe anxiety tells me that she believes that I have OCD. It really started just a few days ago. Something would upset me, and I would get into what she thinks is a panic attack, with racing thoughts, repeating thoughts, or short streams of words over and over either aloud or in my head.
Every day since it really started, I've been struggling with this. I read up common obsessions/compulsions to OCD, which probably wasn't the best idea, since now I have to wonder if I'm just having some sort of hypochondriac type thing, knowing what the symptoms are, and subconsciously applying them to myself.
When I get into these sort of panic attacks, my arms start to uncontrollably shake/twitch, she says sort of something like Parkinson's. When I get like this I get really angry thoughts. Feeling like she doesn't care, and that she isn't at all considerate of what I'm going through with this.
I wonder if this could be OCD, or whether it could be something different? I've been freaking out pretty badly, feeling like I can't trust anything I think. I've got an appointment to see a psychiatrist in 10 days, but it just seems like so far, and every day it just feels like it's getting worse and worse.
Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated!
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