[littlebunny]

I've had issues for a while. They were getting worse at a steady rate until about 12th grade (I'm now a junior in college) at which point they started getting worse at an exponential rate. For the past month or so it's been even worse.

So I notice while poking around the internet that, amongst other possible diagnoses, my symptoms do reflect the less flashy symptoms of schizophrenia, especially things people have reported as prodromal.

I have delusions - whenever I go out alone I always feel like everyone is staring at me. I attribute incorrect motives to my significant other - the only person I really interact with meaningfully right now. I do this with other people too, usually assuming they want to hurt me or think badly of me. I have always been very shy and introverted, but I can no longer handle keeping up with people via facebook/twitter etc. even. I feel fatigue most of the time. I have no sex drive. It was either always low or birth control lowered it, but for the past month or so (no appropriately timed medication changes to blame it on) I've had none. I've stopped experiencing physical arousal during sex. I smell wood smoke and hear fire alarms routinely when no one else does, especially at night. I felt a large snake coiled around my body once during a panic attack. I taste metal randomly. I don't know if I have 'voices'. if I do, they've always been there, and are merely cynical - they don't tell me to hurt myself or others, nor are they disparaging. I often can only give overly worded and tangential answers to questions. I have been anxious for a while. My OCD is swinging into high gear. I am now irritable all the time (like caricature of PMS irritable). I have awful mood swings. I am not unhappy usually, I just never move closer to happy than calm or peaceful. I am becoming more impulsive (think internet shopping sprees - all good deals, all necessary items - but still very out of the ordinary for me). I have trouble concentrating. My memory is a mess; I can't keep track of the chronology of anything, or what day things happened on. I am generally apathetic, I do not have goals. I am as content sitting somewhere doing nothing as I am doing anything I can think of (I like to think of this as having achieved enlightenment ). I have episodes of catatonia.

I do not know if I have any family history of schizophrenia. Most of my mother's family are alcoholics. My father has suffered from depression and social anxiety, his father from what looked like OCD. My father's brother has down syndrome, and I have heard people suggest that he may also be schizophrenia.

I understand that all of these could be because of something else. The main reason that I am considering this is the way the symptoms are mounting. I just have this really powerful feeling that the storm is going to hit soon.


Any advice? Thoughts?

[raggedemt]

hmm well since you have no previous history of taking an antipsychotic medication. then yes, these symptoms seem to be a genuine case of in the schizophrenic spectrum(that spectrum includes everything from full-blown delusions, hallucinations, voices to simple psychosis(distante from reality, to schizotypal personality disorder(the most benign)-which has paranoia throughout(social phobia), dysmorphophobic thoughts(like snakes crawling around your body.) magical thinking-like you can control people around you through thoughts(i know it sounds crazy and it is) aggressive thoughts.

[martasi2]

It sounds like you're trying to diagnose yourself via the Internet, and attaching various jargon to your symptoms. That doesn't help and just increases the anxiety. Can you discuss these concerns with your doctor? You do relate symptoms of severe depression and anxiety and concerns about loss of function in several areas of your life. Whatever meds you're on don't seem to be helping. I'd make an appointment with your psychiatrist rather than continue this mental cycle. I'd also recommend you get a consultation with an endocrinologist, because if your thyroid isn't functioning properly (or if other hormone levels are too low or too high) that can have a powerful effect on your thoughts and function.
It's better to go the doctor route than wait for people on a web site to tell you their theory about what you've "got." You'll just get more anxious and frightened. Taking action will be more useful to you in the long run than what you're doing now.

[dymphna]

Additionally, just stick to the facts: "Doctor, this is what I am feeling. This is what I have been experiencing, and this is how long I have been experiencing it".

We read quite a bit of medical literature and medical newsletters around here (the kind where docs bitch about their patients, billing, etc.) and if there is one, single thing that makes them stick their fingers in their ears and go "la la la - I can't HEAR YOU", it is a patient spouting off what they think their diagnosis is based on what they read on the internet.

Once you have established a relationship, and IF you do not feel that you are being properly treated, THEN is the time to bring up the "you know, I saw this story on the news/in a women's magazine/etc., and it sounded so much like what I was going through...". Yeah, it's not quite the same, but it makes you look less like a diagnosis stalker. It will open up a dialogue. And be prepared to be told that you are completely, utterly off base. Ask them for their reasoning. If they can't give you any, ask if they know someone else who has dealt with more people such as yourself (this gives the guy an "out" - he may want to ditch you, and this gives him a legal way to do it).

Just remember: flipping out on them will not help, nor will "doctor shopping". All that will do is get you tagged as either a "difficult patient", a Munchausen's case, or, the dreaded "drug seeker".

Good luck,


Dymphna

[littlebunny]

Ugh, I am most definitely a diagnosis stalker.

How 'bout I make this into a more sensible question: How is prodromal schizophrenia identified as separate from all of the things it shares symptoms with?