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In My Defense

Posted by AMC , 17 February 2012 · 126 views

Im depressed. I have been since before i could talk. Ive had success in treatment. Then poof. I am hospitalized, three years ago and havent found my way back. I lost my husband due to my illnesses. I left my job. Lived with my parents. Racked up scads of debt on treatment while unemployed. I have been on the med merry-go-round for 2 years without luck. Im lying in a bed covered with dirty clothes. Food dishes on the night stand and abandoned pills littering the dresser. I know this sucks. It sucks for me, it sucks for you. I dont diminish the fact that we are constantly struggling, that it never is easy and we debate ourselves daily on the merits of continuing to try.

But sometimes, despite all the gloom, you get a glimpse of the absurd or you hear a sad story that is funny as hell or you find yourself laughing at the ridiculous situations that were forced upon you or created by you. So i still laugh, at myself, to myself, at the weirdness we all see every day. Sometimes its a dark humor,other times a breezy giggle rated G.

If i think its odd, strange, funny, ironic ill post it. But dont forget im one too. I get it and i never mean any disrespect.
Someday, some word will hopefully bring a smile to an otherwise glum face.





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