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Watched It Anyway

Posted by LovelyThoughts , 18 May 2012 · 97 views

I did end up watching the Birth Mom show and was quite disapointed. It was not a fair representation of who we are, at least I didn't think so. It make it look like Birth Moms are irresponsible party animals...with the exception on one of the girls they showed. All three had kids already and one of them was smoking, drinking and shoplifting. Gah! I dunno, maybe its a trend right now of Moms who have already had kids IS the face of adoption thsese days. I know there are a lot of b-moms on another forum I visit who already had kids when they placed.

The only part that got to me was at the end when the paper signing was happening. So heart wrenching...even with the girl who was smoking and drinking, her sobs went to my soul.

It still shocks me how quickly they allow a Mom to sign the actual papers...I mean in the hospital?!?!? That is insane! I think my situation was as good as this kind of thing can be. At the hospital I signed a med release and INTENT to place, and permission for them to take her from the hospital. It would have KILLED me if I would have had to sign all my rights away right there! I didn't sign final papers until she was about 18 months old. Not sure why actually, maybe because it was a private adoption and had to wait for court availability or something. 18 months was probably a bit of overkill, but I think at least a few months should be allowed.

Nurse Ratched

May 18 2012 07:58 AM

Sensationalism makes for high ratings. So sorry.

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LovelyThoughts

May 18 2012 10:54 AM

Yes it is...and I wish they would have shown more of exactly what the agency people were telling these girls. I love how they just sit there saying nothing, looking sympethic, supportive and caring and you know they talked the talk to them, especially the girl who wanted to keep her baby (there were acutally two that really really didnt want to do it) convincing her it was "the right thing to do".

It also shocks me how adoptive parents are in the room and litteraly cut the cord...and the one couple taking over holding the baby before his Mom got to...gggaaahhh!!

Im actually not that upset about it. But I do think it ironic that here I am starting to go through another growth spurt and all of a sudden there are all these things happening around me relating to adoption.

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allieincrazyland

May 18 2012 11:09 AM

I've never been a TV watcher except for Criminal Minds. However, being home for the last two years has given me both time and opportunity to watch more and it's a good time filler. That's how I knew about the shows who have been dealing with characters who have various MI's.

I decided at the very last minute last night to watch this one and I think I did it because of you. If I didn't know you, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have watched it. I already told you how I felt about it on your TLC post from yesterday.

And yes, the couple who ultimately adopted the 19-year-old's little boy is also the one who had three blond-haired, blue-eyed children. I thought that might have something to do with how hard it was for her to sign the adoption papers. I also was shocked that they were supposed to sign them within 24 hours. That's frighteningly quick.

Anyway, I'm glad we watched it.

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Dookie

May 18 2012 05:38 PM

I think a lot needs to be changed in the process. It is such a painful thing.

My friend was adopted and has been trying for years to find her birth parents. We have been reading a lot about Catholic nuns who basically forced women to give up their babies and then they sold them to families. There is a big push in Canada to get justice for a lot ot the women who were affected by this type of coercion. I think there is still coercion these days, but it is more subtle. I haven't read your other blog entries yet. Do you feel you were treated fairly and well-informed? I think birth parents are very brave.

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LovelyThoughts

May 18 2012 09:10 PM

Thanks Allie, it means a lot to hear you say that!

Dookie..no I wasnt treated fairly but not by my daughters parents. They are sooo amazing...I do have posts on my story titled here ismy story.. I have been writing it out then copying it here to share. It was more my Mom and step dad and the things they said about single mothers and divorcees growing up..and the church we attended who put the pressure on.