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Am I Bipolar?


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#1 jsonx

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Posted 04 April 2012 - 05:08 PM

Hello,

I don't know if i am bipolar or not. Actually i think i am quite emotional guy but the doctors are here (Turkey) don't know the job well. They just asked me "sometimes you are so happy and sometimes so sad?", applied some tests (some questions, didn't do any blood tests or others) and they said you are bipolar.

They gave me 300mg Lithum two times a day. After three weeks i felt very mentally dull and exhausted. After three weeks actually i felt as if i had lost my all emotions. I love my emotions so i quit using lithium. (I can't see a doc because of lots of appointments but will see different docs again)

I am a mathematician and working as a programmer. If i am metally dull i can't do my job so there is no point of living for me. I couldn't write one line of code in 3 weeks. I love my job. When i write code and listen music i feel happy.

Also they said me i am "obsessive compulsive". I am accepting this but i think i am taking care of this by myself.

Here are my findings in myself:
So emotional (as i said i love my emotions but i don't wanna feel so intensive)
Sometimes so angry very very angry
I can't wake up early, i hate this, it makes me depressed
Strong sexual desire (i hate this also. its corrupting my motivation and make me exhausted)
Sometimes i just wanna leave everything and leave alone in the North Pole or somewhere that have strong jungles and ocean.

I am not saying tell me if i am bipolar or not but a normal person can have these things too?

My questions are:
I will see a doc. about lithium but if it will be like that (make me mentally dull) i won't use it. If i am bipolar and don't use lithium this will be going worse in older ages? (I am 26 now)
Should i take medicines for obsessive compulsive?
How can i take care of strong sexual desire? Is there a medicine for that?

Thank you very much.

Also i want to admit that i hate vain, conceited, arrogant people. I can't stand them. (yes saying this made me some relaxed)

Edited by jsonx, 04 April 2012 - 05:26 PM.

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#2 martasi2

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Posted 04 April 2012 - 07:37 PM

jsonx:

No one here can tell you if you have Bipolar Disorder, because we don't diagnose on this site. In order to be diagnosed with BP it's necessary to meet diagnostic criteria; in other words, you must have a certain number and type of symptoms. The criteria for diagnosing in Turkey is most likely different than in the U.S. Your doctors may have followed European guidelines.

Being a "quite emotional guy" isn't very definite. It doesn't mean you have BP or don't have BP. Is there another psychiatrist you can see for a new evaluation? This might be more helpful.

Lithium can sometimes cause lethargy and what is known as "cognitive dulling." It means your mind slows down and doesn't work as well as it did without the lithium. A new psychiatrist may know of another medication (or medications) that will give you some relief for your symptoms without the unpleasant side effect.

Unfortunately, there is not yet any blood test for Bipolar Disorder, and written tests aren't always definitive. If you are having extreme emotions it might help to talk with someone - maybe a doctor or therapist - to help manage these feelings. I'm not sure what resources are available in Turkey or if it's possible to find someone to talk to. You could even start writing your feelings and thoughts in a private journal.

Try to find another psychiatrist who has some other suggestions for you. Maybe you need a lower dose of Lithium with another medication.
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#3 Tryn

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Posted 04 April 2012 - 07:54 PM

There is no real "test" to see if you're bipolar. Just lots of questions. It may be that part of the reason for your diagnosis is because your emotions are so extreme. I cannot say for sure because I don't know how you are feeling. You may want to see another doctor for a second opinion. You can always ask your doctor what it is that makes you fit the criteria for bipolar.

Explain to your doctor how the Lithium made you feel and that you don't want to feel that way. If you are bipolar and you do not treat your illness then yes, it will get worse. Some of the medicines that are used to treat bipolar are also used to treat obsessive-compulsive behavior as well. You can ask your doctor if they are treating it with the same medication or if they are going to be treating it with a different medication. It may be that the doctor wants to get your (if you have it) bipolar condition leveled out so that they can then see what the situation is with your obsessive-compulsive and strong sexual desire so that they will know how to treat it.
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#4 jsonx

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 02:47 AM

Actually i can't describe my feelings sometimes no happy, no sad, no still, nothing... I wrote here because i thought you may know better than our docs. I think docs are busy and aren't professional here. They can't understand me and it looks won't. Some of my friends says that blood test must be done because lithium effects really bad livers and kidneys. They have to look at your blood tests and make a right decision of the lithium dose. It looks they are not doing this in US also. How they tell you that you are a bipolar in US? I will see another doc. soon. I hope they know their job.

Btw, martasi2 i loved your sign quote from Raymond Carver.
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#5 Blue Heron

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 06:50 AM

jsonx, doctors here do blood work after someone starts taking lithium, to make sure they're taking an effective dose. They can't identify bipolar disorder with a blood test. They do that by talking with patients, and seeing if they fit the criteria for the disorder.
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#6 martasi2

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 10:26 AM

jsonx:

Thanks for liking my Raymond Carver quote.

As Blue Heron says, it is common (and indeed mandatory) to do blood tests to obtain a lithium level. This is done as a matter of standard practice in the U.S.

Lithium is metabolized by the kidneys, not the liver, so there's no risk of liver damage when taking it.
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#7 jsonx

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 10:51 AM

I sense that i have somethings different than other people. I will find a good doc and try to solve the problems. You have a good forum here. Thank you for interesting. I will come back again (if i won't die :mad: ) after seeing the doc.
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#8 martasi2

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 10:57 AM

I sense that i have somethings different than other people. I will find a good doc and try to solve the problems. You have a good forum here. Thank you for interesting. I will come back again (if i won't die :mad: ) after seeing the doc.


Yes, please do keep us updated on your progress and medications.
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#9 dymphna

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Posted 06 April 2012 - 12:31 AM

Another thing to consider is that, right now, your part of the world is in turmoil. (I know, it has been for a while). This heightened sense of "what will happen next" can make even the most stable person exhibit some odd habits.

Continual stress will increase cortisol levels, which will exacerbate even mild pre-existing mental health issues. You may want to go see your primary care physician for a general check up of your health to insure nothing else is contributing to how you are feeling. It will also help your psychiatrist target your treatment.


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#10 jsonx

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Posted 06 April 2012 - 04:33 PM

Another thing to consider is that, right now, your part of the world is in turmoil. (I know, it has been for a while). This heightened sense of "what will happen next" can make even the most stable person exhibit some odd habits.

Continual stress will increase cortisol levels, which will exacerbate even mild pre-existing mental health issues. You may want to go see your primary care physician for a general check up of your health to insure nothing else is contributing to how you are feeling. It will also help your psychiatrist target your treatment.

Dymphna


Perfect!. You understand me better than the docs. Now i am in a big move and "what will happen next" is the big question. I am the leader of a big software project and i think any other person may react like me if they were me.

Today i saw another doc. and i said "the doctor in another city said me you are a bipolar and obbsessive compulsive". After that i told him to about me some: sometimes very angry, anxious, strong desire, very sad or very happy, etc. And i said him "So what do you say am i bipolar" and he said "YES" and he just asked are you spending money much? and i said i spent almost $4000 for my needs in this month for my needs (computer accessories, car expenses, etc.) and he implied that you are absolutely biplar :mad:)))) C'mon these are my needs. Every other person can spend like that for their needs. I am not spending for just spending.

Also i said i am washing my hands again and again, thinking about something everytime, so am i obsessive compulsive and he said yes. As i said i accept this but i am solving this day by day and i am going good.

Also he gave me seroquel. I read about it and knew that its a very heavy thing and makes you sleep for a long time. I am saying them i need to be awake! i have to write code and complete projects and they just give me these medicines.

Subsequently, I don't accept medicines. I dare to all. I am 26 and solved everything till now and will keep solving (actually i believe God always helps me).

The only thing i know exactly that i see the world different than other people and i believe there are people like me. I wish good luck for them.

I am watching Seinfeld and i think its better than all medicines :)

talked too much. now I am taking off. I love you all, take care.
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#11 dymphna

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Posted 06 April 2012 - 11:41 PM

If you take the Seroquel early in the evening (EARLY!), and at perhaps half the dose to start with (talk to the doctor -tell him you need to be alert for this big project right now), you will get good sleep and wake refreshed. You will be MORE productive on your project.

It would help if you wrote down what you spent the money on to show to him; he only has a book to guide him that says "is the patient spending a lot of money?".

Washing your hands all of the time is, unfortunately, definitely obsessive compulsive (unless you are a nurse!). It will not help your computer work to have your hands cracked and bleeding when there is an easy solution.

Yes, there are many people like you - you are not alone. There are many people all over the world, even if their society does not want to recognize them as being great, successful people like you. But you need to take care of yourself so that your brain does not go so fast it crashes (like a car). If you read on the main site, Jerod was a computer programmer like you, but his brain went too fast for too long and now he cannot program the same.

The 'fast' is very sexy - yes? You are on top of the world! Use that strength in yourself and your belief in God to accept the offer to slow down a little bit so you can stay successful. And don't forget to go see your regular doctor to check your basic health.


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#12 Mr_West

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Posted 07 April 2012 - 08:03 AM


Another thing to consider is that, right now, your part of the world is in turmoil. (I know, it has been for a while). This heightened sense of "what will happen next" can make even the most stable person exhibit some odd habits.

Continual stress will increase cortisol levels, which will exacerbate even mild pre-existing mental health issues. You may want to go see your primary care physician for a general check up of your health to insure nothing else is contributing to how you are feeling. It will also help your psychiatrist target your treatment.

Dymphna


Perfect!. You understand me better than the docs. Now i am in a big move and "what will happen next" is the big question. I am the leader of a big software project and i think any other person may react like me if they were me.

Today i saw another doc. and i said "the doctor in another city said me you are a bipolar and obbsessive compulsive". After that i told him to about me some: sometimes very angry, anxious, strong desire, very sad or very happy, etc. And i said him "So what do you say am i bipolar" and he said "YES" and he just asked are you spending money much? and i said i spent almost $4000 for my needs in this month for my needs (computer accessories, car expenses, etc.) and he implied that you are absolutely biplar :mad:)))) C'mon these are my needs. Every other person can spend like that for their needs. I am not spending for just spending.

Also i said i am washing my hands again and again, thinking about something everytime, so am i obsessive compulsive and he said yes. As i said i accept this but i am solving this day by day and i am going good.

Also he gave me seroquel. I read about it and knew that its a very heavy thing and makes you sleep for a long time. I am saying them i need to be awake! i have to write code and complete projects and they just give me these medicines.

Subsequently, I don't accept medicines. I dare to all. I am 26 and solved everything till now and will keep solving (actually i believe God always helps me).

The only thing i know exactly that i see the world different than other people and i believe there are people like me. I wish good luck for them.

I am watching Seinfeld and i think its better than all medicines :)

talked too much. now I am taking off. I love you all, take care.


If there's one thing God loves it has to be mysteries.

The body is like a complex piece of software with absolutely no documentation beyond food goes here, poop leaves there, urine leaves over yonder. Medicine and science work to write the comments needed to userstand the code, but there are gaps, overlaps, and things we won't know were wrong for decades.

Some of the best medicines don't line up with how we understand diseases work. Take the anti-malaria drug artemisinin. We don't know how it works. There are confusing parts of its structure such that we don't know how the molecule stays intact. It kills the hell out of malaria and some parasitic worms. It looks like it might be a promising option to kill some kinds of cancer. People guess at how it works, but it isn't like warfarin where we know how that prevents strokes.

If your doctor finds another medical condition for you, that doesn't mean medications that are more frequently used for bipolar aren't going to help the other condition. Learning how to slow down a bit now and care for your general health while still being a productive software ace may make the difference that lets you be there for your potential children and grandchildren.

Part of the patience you may need to exercise is finding the time to find what works best. You were born into a world where a number of drugs exist to treat a number of conditions. There are drugs I absolutely can not take and function like risperidone, while other people with the same diagnosis from a doctor thrive on it. Two doctors in different disciplines can identify the same disease with different tests, call it different names, and treat it in different ways. Don't emphasize your label. Emphasize health.
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#13 jsonx

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Posted 07 April 2012 - 03:46 PM

Yes i may try another doc. but this have to be really professional. Actually i know the solution for me. It is: "Organized life." I am living so inorderly, so free. If i set the rules i feel healty, not sad, down, not high (cheerful like crazy) but strong, successfull and self-confident (a completely normal person). But the problem is: everytime i disobeyed my rules and keep lived freely and felt bad again. I will try the organized life again and release the results. Hope my findings help to others.

Really a systematical and organized life is looking like a really solution to me. (You won't belive but i am also producing softwares for organizing the life better for my clients :) I think i just need to use my own softwares :) )

Btw, it looks i am really taking care of the obbessive compulsive. I am washing my hands one time not again and again (without anxiety) and if i really need. Also i am not obsessive with things like before.


And there are somethings also i want to admit again:

I apologize from my family. They always tried to catch me. They want me to have a good job and organized life, good family with children. I think i succeeded with the first but not others. (Not too late for others. I will try to have others.)

I left my girl suddenly without a reason. Really i don't know the reason. I tried to reach her but couldn't. I apologize from her, i am sorry.

Sometimes i am crying to somebody without a reason, swear them like a crazy. I apologize also from them. But if they really deserved so no apologize for them.

I think I am not a bad guy. I've allways tried to do good things for people. But i couldn't help with somethings that made me bad and i think it was not my actual part.

Also If this is a wrong place for admitting my nonsense habbits i apologize from you. You know everything can be happen in this world and maybe i cannot come here again and may not tell these to anybody. I just wanted to say to all world.

Edited by jsonx, 11 April 2012 - 04:15 PM.

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#14 martasi2

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Posted 07 April 2012 - 04:16 PM

jsonx,

Learning how to live an "organized life" is something many people can't accomplish no matter how much they try. Yet you have managed to very quickly have insight and put your rules into practice. It's impressive.

I'm sure your friends and family are pleased with your hard work. People with all kinds of health problems have to stick to rules and some kind of regimen whether it's taking pills, getting enough sleep, eating good food, being kind to others, etc.

If you have a chance, take a look at this website from the International OCD Foundation. It might give you some ideas and information you can put into practice. You are not the only person who wants to wash hands many times a day or who has obsessive kinds of thoughts. It is really very common. You are not alone with your feelings. You might find information for your country - I'm not sure about this and can't make any promises for this reason. But it is international, so you may get lucky.

http://www.ocfoundation.org/

We will look for more of your posts here. Let us know how you are doing.
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#15 jsonx

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Posted 09 April 2012 - 05:14 AM

As i said i used lithium 3 weeks and stopped and turned back to my fast personality again (fast thinking, fast driving, fast speaking). Actually i love my this personality and of course its my real personality. Yes i heard that some bipolars say like me. But i really think this is my real personality. I think bipolars or obsessive compulsives have different thinking levels that other humans cannot reach. I think its a gift from God but controlling its some phases are very hard.

Now i am using lithium for 2 days and feel calm again. Does it effect so fast?

Also i have one question. Strong sexual desire and masturbation addiction is related with bipolar or ocd? Do you know something that slow this desire and addiction?

Btw, i still couldn't start my dreamed organized life :) But i am close.
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#16 martasi2

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Posted 09 April 2012 - 10:35 AM

As i said i used lithium 3 weeks and stopped and turned back to my fast personality again (fast thinking, fast driving, fast speaking). Actually i love my this personality and of course its my real personality. Yes i heard that some bipolars say like me. But i really think this is my real personality. I think bipolars or obsessive compulsives have different thinking levels that other humans cannot reach. I think its a gift from God but controlling its some phases are very hard.

Now i am using lithium for 2 days and feel calm again. Does it effect so fast?

Also i have one question. Strong sexual desire and masturbation addiction is related with bipolar or ocd? Do you know something that slow this desire and addiction?

Btw, i still couldn't start my dreamed organized life :) But i am close.


In my personal experience with lithium it can work pretty quickly. But it can take some time to get it to a balanced level in the body. This is why people with bipolar thinking often take it on a regular basis or when the fast symptoms start again. It takes a while to figure out when a person is having these fast phases. The challenge is to find the right amount of medication to keep your brilliant thinking, great ideas and energy from the fast phase and not become dull and exhausted - like what happened to you the first time with lithium. Different doses will produce different results.

It's like any other condition, even headaches - sometimes people have to try different medicines or methods and see which works the best.

For some people lithium also helps when they feel down, depressed and tired of reality. This is another phase of the bipolar condition, and I'm not sure if you have had this or not.

Strong sexual desire is often part of the fast phase. Sometimes medicines like low doses of seroquel and lithium too can help reduce this craving. I'm not sure if this is addiction or not. It might just help you feel better and have less anxiety about life. And life these days has a lot to be anxious about, correct?

It's very good that you're experimenting with some medication to see how it works in your body.

Good luck with the organized life! We are all working on that too.
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