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When Crazy Gets With Crazy


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#1 beek

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Posted 26 April 2011 - 11:35 PM

How many of us are in a relationship with another mentally interesting person? Honestly, this person I am seeing is turning out to be quite messed up brainwise. He sustained frontal lobe damage from a car accident and ever since has had problems with compulsive lying. It has taken me almost a year to figure out wtf is going on.

How healthy is it to be with someone like this when you are BP1? Not very, one would assume.
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#2 Deep Sea Philosopher

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Posted 27 April 2011 - 06:14 AM

It is actually pretty common.. I almost married a Borderline. I always thought it was weird that the average person has a 1% chance of developing Schiz, but if a Schiz ever gets in a relationship their odds go up to 2%. Not due to having to tolerate the Schiz, but rather like attracts like. Then again, sometimes a little bit of crazy can have its advantages.


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#3 Blue Heron

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Posted 27 April 2011 - 08:10 AM

My rule of thumb while dating was, "No one more mentally interesting than I am."
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#4 beek

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Posted 27 April 2011 - 11:29 AM

My rule of thumb while dating was, "No one more mentally interesting than I am."

I think that is a good rule to abide by!

Although it is believed that we are far better lovers than our boring counterparts.
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#5 ces-nymphes

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Posted 28 April 2011 - 08:10 AM


My rule of thumb while dating was, "No one more mentally interesting than I am."

I think that is a good rule to abide by!

Although it is believed that we are far better lovers than our boring counterparts.



I'd totally love to see a study on that. In my experience (n = ahem), the crazies win every time...

(I'm new, by the way! Hi!)

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Hyperthymic temperament or BPII?


#6 Myshkin

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Posted 28 April 2011 - 02:11 PM

Thankfully I am married to the most grounded and mentally stabel person you can imagine. He is as mentally stable as a rock. He get's our everyday live going and I make sure his life doesn't get too boring. We're a great match :-D
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#7 rosie

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Posted 28 April 2011 - 05:26 PM

I married a BP1, borderline, drug and alcohol addicted guy, and while it felt good in the beginning to be with someone who understood my bipolar, it went to hell quickly and ended in a very, very nasty divorce. Now I think I could only settle for someone on the "normal" spectrum who would be prepared to educate himself on my craziness, rather than be crazy himself.
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#8 LosingIt

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Posted 07 May 2011 - 06:20 PM

I"ve tried it a few ways. The last one was way more mentally interesting than I and it caused me to become more mentally interesting....I just couldn't deal with the stress he added in my life. Maybe if I didn't have my own MI, I would have been able to deal and been that rock that someone else described.  Maybe if he had been stable he could have been my rock?  Then maybe it would have worked.  As it was, we both made each other worse and it had to end.  The current one is my rock.  He has "issues" more like relationship/life baggage but no MI.  Sometimes I think I am too "challenging" for him.  He doesn't want to be my counselor, shrink, or girlfriend.  So I have to remember to not get defensive when he asks if I'm feeling anxious. He is just trying to help by pointing it out so I can recognize it and deal with it.  Just cuz he pointed it out, doesn't mean he wants to be the one to sort it out. I have to do that.  If I can keep all of that in check. Things are good. I prefer this relationship to crazy with crazy.
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#9 Tryn

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Posted 07 May 2011 - 06:42 PM

My ex-hubby was BP1 just like me. It went pretty well until his drinking and drugging went too far and I decided that one of us had to die... I landed on the psych ward for trying to kill myself. He disappeared. When I told the folks on the psych ward the whole story about him they discharged me in less than 24 hours. :mad: Several years later he ended up killing himself.

My new hubby is not mentally interesting at all. In fact, he's studying to be a therapist. Now we're just a boring married couple and I love it!
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#10 Sweetest1

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Posted 07 May 2011 - 06:48 PM

I do not think I could handle a relationship with a Mentally interesting individual. My husband is intelligent and creative but not ill. He keeps me grounded when the manias try to take over, and lifts me up when I am depressed. I would not have it any other way.
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I am not a doctor - I am just an !diot.
Nothing I say should be considered as medical advice.
These are merely my personal opinions; of which there is a seemingly inexhaustible supply.


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#11 In_Remission_AzStep

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Posted 17 May 2011 - 07:47 AM

My hubby doesn't have any current diagnoses (as a child he was ODD) but he was a meth addict for about six months and ended up serving time for dealing. The meth really screwed with his brain, so I wouldn't be surprised if he was mentally interesting, and just not diagnosed.

#12 peanutbutter

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Posted 13 September 2011 - 07:00 PM

My husband has the bipolar as well. I think a lot of people confuse emotional outbursts with bipolar moods. Though I can have terrible mood swings and occasional lose sense of my rational being my approach to life is more rational than emotional. That means my husband and I don't fight, we disagree. We can get irritable but, it is acknowledged as an emotional reaction stemming from x.x is dealt with through y and so on. Being so bloody rational came out as a coping mechanism for my moods. He is more emotional and w balance each other out that way.
But it has happened where we've both been in either a mixed or depressive state. That is frightening. There have been times where we can fit that negative case scenario but, it is rare. and all the more reason to take our crazy pills and take care.
I do like our playful arguments over who is crazier and given we understand exactly where the other is coming from helps when symtoms arise (of couse we don't say, "hey that's a bit manic" it is more like, "ah I've been there and I will respect your experience"). I'm not sure someone without bipolar disorder is able to react with the same knowledge and understanding. I care little for sympathy. It is unproductive and lonely as hell.
Most days I don't think about having bipolar disorder or think there is anything mentally interesting about my husband. I doubt he thinks much about it either. We just live our lives together.

Edited by peanutbutter, 13 September 2011 - 07:03 PM.

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#13 GetOffMyLawn

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Posted 16 August 2013 - 08:07 AM

DW is my stable, grounded rock, herself a psychotherapist. Last night she lamented that she often wishes she had married a normal, boring person.

 

 

 

ETA: DW is also brilliant, cultured, has traveled widely, and is well-read. She may not have the brain cooties, but she is plenty interesting, mentally speaking


Edited by GetOffMyLawn, 31 August 2013 - 09:15 PM.

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Current Meds: Lamotrigine 300mg, Buproprion XL 450mg, Topiramate 300mg, Citalopram 40mg, Risperidone 1mg, Levothyroxine 50 mcg
Past Meds: Paroxetine, Escitalopram, Sertraline
Current Non-Psych: Lovastatin, Baby Aspirin
 
 
Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
Til the last syllable of recorded time.
And all our yesterdays light fools the way to dusty death.
Out, out, brief candle!
Life is but a walking shadow,
A poor player who struts and frets his hour upon the stage
Then is heard no more.
It is a tale told by an idiot,
Full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.


#14 PacketPrincess

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Posted 16 August 2013 - 09:25 AM

On one hand, marrying a mentally interesting person would be good in the sense of having things in common and being understood. On the other hand, between managing my issues, his issues, and our common issues, it would be kind of a disaster. Anything emotionally volatile has potential for disaster.


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Current Dx: Mostly PTSD. 

Current meds: None except PRNs

Past Dx: Depression, Panic disorder. 

Past Meds: sertraline, lorazepam, tranylcypromine, Seroquel, Abilify, lithium, lamotrigine, valproate, Latuda, oxcarbazepine, risperidone, olanzapine.

 

"Remember, there is no reliable way to distinguish a catatonic from a mystic" - Sanjay Nigam, "The Transplanted Man"


#15 Elisabet_Fluffy

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Posted 31 August 2013 - 07:36 PM

My boyfriend is depressed, and while we can often bring each other down, I think that neither of us could really be with someone mentally uninteresting.  A normal person would have dumped me a long time ago when they realized how often I hide under my desk and sob for no good reason.  Or lie down and stare at the ceiling.  Or sit and stare at the wall.  Or, thanks to Wellbutrin, get really angry because my computer won't load quickly enough and start throwing things at the wall. 

 

We understand each other (mostly) and can help each other out and call each other on our crazy shit.  We're a compatible kind of crazy. 


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Non-crazy diagnoses:  BRCA 1 mutation, allergies, Raynaud's Syndrome (primary)

#16 Shmooey

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Posted 03 September 2013 - 03:24 PM

I don't think someone normal would stay with me either.

 

I have pdoc diagnosed DID, severe depression with psychosis, PTSD, and schizotypal personality disorder.  Plus I am agoraphobic.  I married a Bipolar 2 who really gets me, and is also a hermit so is happy to stay home most of the time with the cats.  We have been together for 11 years and are very happy.


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Treated for Schizoaffective Depressive, DID, and agoraphobia with my current meds:  Effexor XR 300 mg. Haldol 15 mg, Lamictal 200 mg. Klonopin 0.5 mg twice a day

 

Past meds:  Five SSRI poop outs - Zoloft twice, Prozac twice, Celexa once.  

Buspar, Wellbutrin XL, Gabapentin, Abilify, Geodon, Zyprexa, Haldol (twice before), Xanax, Klonopin, Ativan, Topamax, Neurontin, Elavil, Halcion, even tried Benadryl for panic which failed miserably.

 

 

the world is too loud.

 


#17 PacketPrincess

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Posted 03 September 2013 - 10:53 PM

All of this is kind of giving me hope that despite my mental complications I can someday not be alone. Yay for that!


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#18 GetOffMyLawn

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Posted 03 September 2013 - 11:47 PM

All of this is kind of giving me hope that despite my mental complications I can someday not be alone. Yay for that!

 

Be careful what you wish for, dude.


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Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
Til the last syllable of recorded time.
And all our yesterdays light fools the way to dusty death.
Out, out, brief candle!
Life is but a walking shadow,
A poor player who struts and frets his hour upon the stage
Then is heard no more.
It is a tale told by an idiot,
Full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.


#19 VAL

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Posted 04 September 2013 - 07:53 AM

I have surrounded myself with healthy people and would not touch an addict, alcoholic or mentally ill person with a ten foot pole unless it was something like a mild depressive condition. Normal people can be the grounded one in the relationship and model normal behavior for some of us who never had an example of that in our lives. The important thing, in my mind, if I ever did meet a normal who was interested in me would be that I never force my illness on him, neglect him in anyway or ignore the fact that normal people can suffer greatly from various problems as much as the mentally ill and I would need to be there for him as often as he would be for me. I suspect a normal person wouldn't want to marry me for various reasons (not all MI related but some physical problems as well and being dead broke)  but if they were interested, I would describe in deep detail how bad it can get but also remind him that I have always been a very high functioning person.


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#20 wombat

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Posted 04 January 2015 - 07:28 AM

I always figured maybe it made sense to be with another mentally interesting person, but after a really terrible relationship with someone with BPD (which failed mainly because of her BPD, I'm reluctant to admit but it's true) I think maybe the limit for mentally ill people in a relationship involving me is one. But who knows. 


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#21 peacelizard

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Posted 04 January 2015 - 07:50 AM

Being in a relationship with someone else with mental illness is very difficult. I've always likened it to treading water in the ocean while wearing a life jacket, except you not only have to keep yourself afloat, but a significant other as well. From personal experience, I would much rather try to make things work with a person with almost any form of Axis I disorder, but Axis II is too difficult for me to manage, especially when symptomatic. I unfortunately found this out the hard way by being in a relationship with someone with significant Axis II traits, if not full-blown BPD, for three years. Don't get me wrong -- there were periods of genuine happiness, but they were very short-lasting and few and far between. I think the fact that those did happen on occasion, combined with this being my first serious relationship, made it last multiple "expiration dates" when it would have normally run its course and ended. I think part of what dragged it out as well was my desire to "make things work" and and accept things that I found very difficult because of a "who am I to judge" mentality. Ultimately, it was no one's fault because it takes two to tango and we just couldn't soothe each others' wounds. We would trigger each other far more often than heal. That being said, I'd like to say I'd never turn down love if it was staring me in the face, but given past experience I am very, very cautious when I get a personality vibe from someone. It's not to say that it's their fault or that they're not deserving of love. Quite the opposite. It's just that I'm a natural caregiver and protector and someone like that is more likely to ruin me than others. They're my kryptonite. Hope that makes sense.


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        Klonopin 0.5mg PRN // Propanolol 10mg PRN TID // Seroquel IR 25mg PRN TID

Tx: Psychodynamic // CBT

Rx: CelexaProzacZoloftTrilafon

 

Odi et amo. quare id faciam, fortasse requiris? nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior


#22 jook

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Posted 04 January 2015 - 03:58 PM

From personal experience, I would much rather try to make things work with a person with almost any form of Axis I disorder, but Axis II is too difficult for me to manage, especially when symptomatic. I unfortunately found this out the hard way by being in a relationship with someone with significant Axis II traits, if not full-blown BPD, for three years.

 

I went through a similar experience for 4 years and ended up in a very nasty divorce. Nothing like having a wife that would outright lie to my face and not even bat an eyelash. The only drawback was we had a mentally interesting child together. He is now a grown man and he self medicates. We don't have a relationship at all.

 

On the flip-side, I have had a lot of friends who were Axis I and we had some really fun times together. As far as friendships go, I find it much easier to be around mentally interesting persons than not. The only problem is that you eventually get pulled apart at some point in your lifetime by 'circumstances'.


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former rx= Lexapro, Wellbutrin, Effexor, Zoloft, Topamax, Lamictal, Depakote, Lithobid, Trileptal, Gabitril,
Zonegran, Seroquel, Risperdal, Invega, Zyprexa, Abilify, Geodon, Saphris, Ativan, Xanax, Valium, BuSpar,
Nuvigil, Provigil, Restoril, Ambien CR, Lunesta, various combinations with all of the above
 

#23 delorean

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Posted 04 January 2015 - 04:04 PM

at this point in my life i find it really difficult to relate to someone who is not completely crazy.  the feeling is: "i don't have the patience for this."

 

del


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Noise: Listening to someone who has never suffered.

 

— E.M. Cioran



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