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Clair's Blog



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I'm Clair

Posted by Clair , 03 June 2012 · 262 views
Bipolar II, PTSD, ADD
I'm Clair Hello all--I'm Clair. I've been lurking around here for years, and decided to sign up. I don't know what to say about myself that isn't in my profile, but I'm sure I'll think of something.

The photo is of my dog, Mesquite. He died on February 5th this year. I don't want to go into it, it's very sad and all. I have a new dog now named Storm, and he has helped a lot. He's not a replacement, he's an addition. I never thought I would love another dog so quickly, but Storm is pretty insistent. Plus he picked me to be his person, and he cuddles--what else was I supposed to do? But I still miss Mesquite, I always will. But it's better. Not crying all of the time.

As you might have guessed, I love dogs. I also love music--I sing in a tiny band that includes myself and my brother, KJ. Last year I started singing again after taking about 20 years off (long story) and at first my voice sucked. But I went to see my bff in Portland (never thought I would have a bff, heh) and she and her girlfriend had the video game _______. You can play instruments or sing. I chose to sing and had a blast. So I got _______ for Christmas and started singing. I got a little bit better. I kept at it and then sang for my brother and after a bit of back and forth our band was born. For privacy reasons, I won't say the name of the band--but it has a great name!

So far we've written 3 songs together. Seems like each song is better than the one before it, so that's encouraging. The goal of all of this is to record a CD full of original material in the next year or two. At some point we'll start looking for other muscians to practice with (we have a place to do that) and when we're ready, my brother has a good friend who owns a recording studio, and he has agreed to give us a great deal. So I'm very excited about all that.

I have bipolar II. I'm doing well on my meds at the moment, sort of. I am tapering off one med and am coming up on another and am having some withdrawal and that sucks. But so far I'm hangin in there.

I also have PTSD. I was sexually abused by a neighbor as a child. I was also attacked when I was 19 by a man that was later thought to be a serial killer. (My brother's dog saved me. I love dogs so much!) I know, I sound almost light-hearted about it--I'm not. It was beyond horrible. But I lived through it, and eventually I did more than just survive. My life is not perfect, there is a hell of a lot going on, but it's good. I have a great husband and 6 sons. We joke that we have yours, mine, ours and theirs because one kid is mine, one is adopted, two are his, and the other two used to belong to a neighbor...we're in the process of two adult adoptions. Very exciting!

I'm sort of just skimming the surface here--I don't want to tell my whole story all at once. I don't think I could! I figure it will creep out a bit at a time, as I get to know people, and they get to know me.

A disclaimer: I am a writer, so I try to be entertaining, but I suffered a head injury in 2001 and since then I tend to, um, let's say, be creative with spelling. So if something bad slips through, forgive me. I try.

I'm glad to be here and I'm looking forward to getting to know you, or some of you.

Peace.





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