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Chanel_Mc's Blog


Daily Vent/ramble

Posted by Chanel_Mc , 09 May 2012 · 185 views

Finished "an Unquiet Mind" by Kay Jamison yesterday. I really appreciated it. I read some reviews of people who found it to be just a book for her. I'm sure it was, but I really appreciated hearing someone else feeling and experiencing the exact same things I have and do experience. It makes me feel less isolated less lonely.

Still having break through symptoms. Really tired of the bipolar emotional roller coaster. I was in a comparatively decent mood this morning and now I just feel like crawling in bed and crying. I have shit to do. I don't need to be in bed and what am I crying about?? It seems I should be used to this after years of it, but I'm just tired. I did get some stuff done around the house before my mood took a downward turn. I guess I should just be satisfied with that. I'm just sick of having any little thing set me off. My mood is black and I feel alone although I'm not. I hate it.I hope my new meds make this better, easier, gone.

I've finally accepted/resigned myself to the fact that i have to be medicated forever. Cause for celebration if anything is, especially for those who have to be around me. Despite having been diagnosed 25 years ago, I still find myself wondering if this is real. What's wrong with me? Why do I feel this way? Do I really need all this medicine. I know all of the answers to those questions in my head, but this stupid little nagging corner of my self won't shut up about it.

Blah blah blah.

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