But, yeah, I don't have anything to do because I already finished all my "finals." (One was a final project and one was a take-home exam.) It feels good not to have anything to do for two weeks. Time to focus on myself!
The only problem is that the only reason I don't have any finals is because I already failed half of my classes. Ouch. And to think I had a 4.0 before I flew off the handle......Freshman me would be disgusted. Sometimes I just can't believe how quickly everything can change.
Anyway...I do still have to return a book I borrowed from one of the scarier professors here. And I really don't want to face him. Halfway through the semester I just stopped going to his class cold turkey. After about a week of skipping I couldn't go anymore out of pure shame. And now...well this is just an atrocity on my part. But I don't want to keep his book. Maybe I will make my roommate take it to him. A cop-out like that sounds like my kind of plan, as usual.
Jeez...wtf am I even whining about? It's not like a million times worse things haven't happened. Jiminy Christmas.
Blah, as usual I can't sleep. I'm nervous for so many things.
I have to go back to my co-op job on April 2nd. I really despise the office. I feel weird going back because every time I spend a semester there, I am a different person and I think all my coworkers think I'm completely insane. Can't blame em. If I saw a girl I hadn't seen in three months show up in my office 50 pounds heavier and a million times less productive, and then I saw her after another three months period 50 pounds lighter and never having enough work to do, I'd probably fire her. I probably am only holding onto this job because I'm a student and am therefore forgiven for more.
I have to stand in my friend's wedding on April 21st. I'm the fat bridesmaid. My dress doesn't exactly fit. I have to make it work. I HATE one of the other bridesmaids. She used to be my best friend in the entire world. That is, until she stopped talking to me out of the blue and I found out through a mutual friend that she had been sleeping with the guy I was seeing the whole time. They are moving in together. I can't look her in the face without wanting to punch her in the teeth. Why do the bitches always win?
Whatever. I can lose weight but she will always be a cum-guzzling thundercunt.
What else is in my scattered brain? Oh yeah, my birthday is in 2 weeks. I'm gonna be 22. My best friend is throwing me a pub golf birthday. It's going to be a lot of drinking. I shouldn't do that. I just embarrass myself.
All my friends are getting engaged. I think they are fucking crazy. We are young 20s. But, then again, technically I'm the crazy one. I've come to accept that there is a good probability that I will die alone, sooner or later. I didn't mean for that to sound as depressing as it did.
I'm really not sad right now, as much as this post probably seems otherwise. I would say I'm pretty close to neutral, which is strange. I know I'm going to be happy tomorrow, I can just tell.
Eh, maybe I do feel depressed. Probably. I need to stop drinking. I drank way too much last night, and embarrassed myself as usual. More importantly, I still feel the mental hangover. It's probably going to be a couple days before I'm back to "normal." (HA!)
Wednesday is gonna be a pain. I have to drive an hour and a half just to do a hair drug test for work. I wonder if I will have to explain the bupropion.
What am I even talking about!