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New Tlc Show...

Posted by LovelyThoughts , 17 May 2012 · 219 views

...called Birth Moms. Great. And of course taked place at an "unwed mothers" home in Utah-the worst state on fair adoption practices. I could probaby predict they will portray the single birth mothers as the dregs of society who "dont deserve" their child because they are poor and feel they have little rescources and the prospective adoptive parents as saviors of the day and so much more deserving to be parents because they have money-money not just for the child but mostly to pay the agencies, lawyers and such. Gah! I seriously hope and pray they don't make a series of this. Thats all us Birth Moms need...more false advertizing.

Haven't decided if I will watch it or not. Hubby asked me why I torture myself.

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facelessbelief
May 17 2012 07:59 AM
I stopped watching anything on TLC, MTV, or just about any channel like that. I despise what these channels have done to portray people. Mothers or fathers. Some parts of me are glad they haven't decided to do a show on people with mental illnesses. That seems like it would be horribly done also.
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bipolar librarian
May 17 2012 08:08 AM
I'm pretty appalled at the voyeurism in a lot of these shows. I've watched one or two out of morbid curiosity, but one or two are enough. A steady diet of those ... ick.

I don't know if you've heard of the book, "The Red Market: On the Trail of the World's Organ Brokers, Bone Thieves, Blood Farmers, and Child Traffickers" by Scott Carney. It's pretty disturbing -- might be too many triggers for you (or for anyone for that matter -- very, very disturbing stuff). He talks about what is essentially the purchase of children from impoverished countries by people in wealthier countries. Even though there are supposed to be safeguards against it, it happens.

The U.S. might have a milder version of that, but there is still a transfer of children from the poor to the rich. It's "better" for everyone involved, isn't it?

I would love to see pregnant women in this country supported in their decisions -- whatever they may be -- rather than seeing them batted about like soccer balls for everyone else's political agenda. The woman who is pregnant is the one who most deeply has to live with that decision. She deserves to be able to make it without undue pressure.

(rant over)
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LovelyThoughts
May 17 2012 09:16 AM
Yeah those shows are getting redicilous. I think my daughter and I were watching My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding-that show is actually interesting-takes place in the UK and it is kind of educating to see sub-cultures are in other countries...

BL-actually you have no idea how spot on you are about baby trafficing from other countries. White babies placed for adoption in America are a rarity now, so prospective adoptive parents have been looking to other poorer countries...and the result? All these children in "orphanages" a lot of times, have been stollen from their families. Just like it happened here in the early days of when adoption became a popular way to gain a child for infurtile couples.

And what you said about pregnant women...agencies (especially in Utah these days) get to these women when they are at their most vulnerable...hormonal, pregnant and scared. It's sick really.

Speaking of books-there is an excellent one called The Baby Theif-a true story about the woman who capitolized and created the adoption practices in America. She was very evil...stole babies and children from poor families...litterally sent people to farms and poor neighborhoods and took them if they were out unsupervised!! Paid city official to look the other way and falsify documents...this is where the sealing of original birth certificates comes from actually. There are countries who don't do this but just ammend them with the adoptive parents name as the legal parents of the child, but they do not remove the birth parents names.

I will have to read the samples of the books you recommended. But knowing how I have been lately-I have been in the habit of torturing myself.
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allieincrazyland
May 17 2012 11:44 AM
Showtime has a series called Homeland based on a character (played by Claire Danes) who is bipolar. One of the TNT, TBS, TLC channels has a new series coming out in June that's based on a brilliant schizophrenic and WB had Unhappily Ever After for several seasons and it's main character, Jack Malloy, was schizophrenic. And of course, Criminal Mind's Spencer Reed character's mother is schizophrenic and had a recurrent role for several years. Soooo, it must be in vogue in Hollywood to have a MI or better yet, some of the stigma is lifting and there is more exploration being done artistically.

BPL: I concur with your thought that pregnant women need to be supported, irregardless of what choices they make - respect is key.
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allieincrazyland
May 17 2012 11:50 AM
Oops, forgot the main thing I wanted to say. I actually like a couple of shows on TLC. I enjoy 20/20 TLC. If Birth Mom turns out to be one of those shows like Teen Mom on MTV or only portrays the biological moms as poor, pitiful, brainless girls without the sense to raise a child, etc, then I would hope it's ratings would be horrible enough to yank the plug on it. There's a lot of emotional landmines in the process of birth and adoption. If well done, we could learn from it. If done to sensationalize, I'm against it. And LT, you're one of the reasons I would be against it. Your case would be an excellent one to unfold and show the long-term damage of a forced adoption. However, I'm afraid they would exploit you for ratings purposes and not care what damage they further inflicted on you.
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LovelyThoughts
May 17 2012 12:31 PM
aaww thanks allie..it does make be happy when I can "impart" knowledge on this matter. Most people have such a vague sense of what all is involved for birth parents and their children and the lifelong deep feeling it creates.

I dont think I would ever be able to come that much out of the closet. I am very sensitive to my daughter and her parents because I love all three of them and it wasn't their fault what happened to me. They weren't out to "get" someones baby.

As for the TLC show-I saw the trailer and they showed a white woman with her about 3 yr old mixed race daughter and I thought it was kind of like they were trying to make some kind of point as to what "kind of person" she was. Makes me sick and that is one reason I dont know if I can watch it...but I am sure I will-it's like a car wreck.
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allieincrazyland
May 17 2012 08:05 PM
Well, I watched the premier episode tonight and you were right in one way. There was a girl on there who shoplifted, smoked, drank, etc in the late stages of her pregnancy and much of the episode centered on her. It seemed to me that she worked the show as much as the show worked her. She wanted to be on camera and she was well aware of the shock value of some of her behaviors. On the other hand, TLC didn't mind showing the ugliness either.

A 19-year-old with an 11-month-old daughter had a more compelling story. She was ambivalent about giving her baby up and had a really difficult time choosing the adoptive parents. The ones she ultimately chose had two previous adoption attempts that were disappointing for them in the end so they were a little gun shy and wary. I could really feel the young girl's struggle and didn't think she was doing it for her "15 minutes of fame". She had a very, very difficult time signing the papers but was wise enough to know that the adoptive parents could give her son a better life than she could. Yes, she was poor but she was far from illiterate or stupid. I felt her pain. And I also felt the adoptive parents' genuine happiness.

I thought about you while watching the entire show but most especially during her portions of it. She was/is a good person in a tough position and she did the right thing for her son - no matter how hard it was for her. I had to respect that.

So there's my synopsis on the show. It was as bad on one hand as you thought it might be but on the other hand, the 19-year-old's story was touching and you could see the beauty on both sides.
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LovelyThoughts
May 18 2012 07:23 AM
Yeah I watched it...I couldn't stop myself. Im going to do a post on it.

The 19 year old broke my heart! She is so strong and has a good head on her shoulders..so sad. I think the family she chose though was the one who already had three kids of their own...I could be wrong, but I remember thinking they seemed an unlikley couple for her to choose because of how "picky" she was being. I just figured she wouldn't have settled...but then again like you said she was having a hard time choosing and it seemed to me it was a last minute choice since she was taking so long. They didn't mention what her support system was back at home but it was so heartbreaking because I feel if she would have the right support she could have parented him.

anyway...off to post
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